Saturday, June 9, 2012

Somebody Shoot Me



Balusters lined up like Kalashnikovs in a bedouin tent.

I ate lunch in a Mexican restaurant and ended up with something that looked like a severed limb on a paper plate (that's the last time I order the brazo amputado con salsa.) 

On the way back to work I passed a couple wearing interesting T-Shirts. Hers said, "My name is Karen. Ask me about my Meth lab". His said, "If life hands you melons, you might be dyslexic". Their clothing was happy, but they looked miserable. They were putting so much energy into sartorial epigrams, they had nothing left to spend on love.

'Prometheus' is on in the movie theatres, but by all accounts it's missing an alien. In space, nobody can hear you snore. Put that on a T-Shirt. - A couple of nights back I went to see Wes Anderson's 'Moonlight Kingdom'. It wasn't without charm. On the one hand, it had Bill Murray playing Bill Murray, and Frances McDormand playing Bill Murray. 

Summer is here, so the movies have to be dumber than Harpo. There must be a logical explanation. Do brains shrink in the sunshine? Would this explain Hollywood?

I had to change my ticket to Ireland last night; I'll be home for a couple of weeks at the end of June. The lady with Air France/Delta told me I couldn't choose a seat, and she offered me 34d, which I actually thought was a cup size. I've never been that far back.
"Are you sure that's still inside the plane?" I asked.
"Our premium seats are towards the front of the aircraft, sir. If you'd like to purchase one for $80..."
"Do I get to take it home with me?"
"I'll put you down for 34d".

I expect the seat belt will resemble a giant bra strap and, like most men, I won't be able to figure out the clasp.

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