Thursday, July 5, 2012
Diversify, Or Die
Signage, John Street, Kilkenny
There was a time
when a man could make a living selling you a pound of nails, a length of gutter and a roll of duct tape. Now, if he wants to put bread on the table, he has to iron your shirts as well.
"Give us forty foot of barbed wire and a claw hammer, and do you think you could do anything about this stain on the donkey jacket?"
"No problem, Paddy. Hand it over."
"I might as well get the pants and the shirt done too."
"As long as you don't mind standing around in a hardware shop in the nude..."
"Just get me the barbed wire and I'll use it to cover me for decency."
More signage, John Street, Kilkenny
The simple Fish & Chip shop, on the other hand, will find it very difficult to survive.
Picture this conversation:
"Large single and a haddock. I'll also need two return tickets to Miami."
"I'm sorry, sir. What you need is a travel agent."
"Sure, the travel agent isn't doing travel anymore, since he got so busy with the chainsaw repair business."
"You might try O'Neill's, at the end of the street."
"Is he an agent for Aer Lingus?"
"No, he's a florist. He can get you some exotic houseplants. You can pretend you went away..."
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